My dearest friend's brother passed away last January.

She is also called Ludka,we were born 2 years apart in neighbouring houses.Her mother died from breast cancer when she was a child. I remember the funeral well, the children,all 5 of them, too young to understand what death was,the finality of it.My mother was always there for them and helped the dad and the grand-parents with advice and in practical terms,as the father worked away from home during the week,treating the children as if they were her own,as if they were my brothers and sisters.I used to go and read the youngest boy stories in the evenings when he would cry for his mother.We all were a nice,solid unit.Then the older boy went to University and things began to change.He met a girl there,she was working in the school library,googly eyes,almost pretty,the daughter of a very prominent member of the Communist party.Full of self-importance and the air of entitlement about her,she never had to wear hand me downs.Her prospective father-in-law did not take to her,saying to my mother,that she had cruel,selfish streak in her. They married.The wedding was a great social affair in Bratislava.My family was not invited.When Ludka's father passed away,both grand-parents being dead by then,too, there was a discord in the family over the division of the assets,the oldest brother took it upon himself,with the encouragement of his father-in-law, to make all decisions, expecting his siblings dance as he whistled.I believe that all relationships within the family are as good as the women make it,the men just follow.And Ludka's sister-in-law had always dismissed her husband's family as not quite good enough or clever enough,even though she herself had no brains to speak of and dropped out of University,neither the bribes nor her father's stature could help.My dear friend would often cry but there was nothing I could do,just listen and comfort her.And then her brother stopped talking to me and my entire family.By way of association I became the enemy. And that was the way it was until he passed away.Since his death I have had the same dream about him,always the same,nothing changes.We are young and stand holding onto each other and our cheeks move to touch.