It is an unwritten law in the cruising world that every ship must have a speedo man on board.

Every ship.There he lies resplendent with his predicaments tightly squeezed into the 3 sizes too small speedos that he has very likely been hoping to slim down into since the mid 70s,when he was possibly in his bloom, but has bloomed out and about far too much since, yet unable to accept that the good old days will never return,he brings the speedos out every year on every cruise,living in hope.