Sex on the beach. 29/08/2016

I had the Sex on the beach for the very first time in a five star Hotel Thermia Palace in a spa town of Piestany, Slovakia. The coctail,not sex! I wish! I have ordered it now and then when cruising. It is not offered under the name Sex on the beach anymore,for understandable reason. I have never heard,over the years, any-one order the coctail. Until tonight. First dates. Joe,23, a Bristol hairdresser, had asked for it. His date Spencer,21,another hairdresser,[the fastest blow-dryer in Basildon,was it?] If ever there were two people made for each other,it is these two. May they enjoy the sex for years to come. My heart went out to the 25 year old shy ,awkward part time DJ,so out of his comfort zone on a date with a 21 year old classics student,so out of his league. The God is upstairs,could he,please,pair him with someone who would bring him out of his shell,downstairs. The lovely receptionist with sparkling teeth matched by her sparkling personality dreaming about a perfect man who would give her a perfect home and a perfect child. Common,boys,chase up this perfect home-maker in waiting.

Fine turn out for the book this is. 29/08/2016

P & O Oceana, when in the American territorial waters on 1 March 2016, failed the US unannounced health inspection. They gave a hygiene score of 82 out of 100, four marks below the 86 required pass. Officials found 48 violations: dirty cooking utensils,food prepared in hazardous conditions, live and dead insects found in food preparation area,sick staff suffering from acute gastroenteritis working in the kitchen. There was a human hair inside the ice-cream compartment. The swimming pool and whirlpool spa had to be shut down, they had not been properly disinfected. The 2,272 capacity Oceana was still allowed to sail subject to certain conditions. My little Oceana,with the best desserts at sea and food equal to that of Oceania,Celebrity,Silversea ships and certainly better than on any Cunard vessel. Little Oceana,where I had spent the most wonderful last Christmas and New Year. How disappointing. How unacceptable. How worrying. How utterly stomach - churning.

Almost the last word on the Celebrity Eclipse. 28/08/2016

Wonderful cruise on a wonderful ship. But I do have several bones to pick. No slippers. Gilchrest & Soames toiletries very disappointing,especially the shampoo. The nice room attendant had replaced it with a SHINE version, but it did not fare any better. If I like the toiletries, I take what I had not used,home. This time I left absolutely everything behind. [It would have been different had they been by the White Company or Bulgari]. The choice of free films on TV disappointing as was almost everything else. Too violent. Hate watching the senseless killings,rapes and abuse of children at the best of times, let alone on holiday. Free orange juice in the Oceanview restaurant undrinkable. Very poor choice of tea. The internet service was pricey, $299 for an unlimited use of the wi-fi, but excellent and very easy to navigate when connecting or signing off. And I did get a 25% discount,this came to $ 74.75. Lubbly jubbly. Had I not had my little Toshiba with me, would have not used the internet,a young American male member of staff in the internet cafe was one of the most unpleasant people I have ever had the misfortune to be served by on a ship. Full of himself, talked to me in an unpleasant off hand manner in a raised aerated voice. Others were not spoken to any better. I have picked up the 2017 schedule and there are some back to back cruises I would absolutely love to take. Back to back in the cruise world means that you take two or more cruises one following the other without disembarking. I haven't yet done it, but the next year my time will be my own and I will cruise and cruise and cruise! Back to back, back to front, every which way,but cruise!

The last evening on the Eclipse. 26/08/2016

Normally the theatre performances take place at 8.30 and 10.30. The last evening performances in the theatre are brought slightly forward on almost every ship as the organizers know people need to pack and many have an early night. So Ms Aimie Atkinson [I did not go to her concert several nights previously] and Mr Steve Larkins [yes,the Freddie Mercury impersonator] came to entertain us at 7 and 9. She was small with powerful lungs,but her voice did nothing for me. She sang the way I was massaged - she was trained well, hit all the right notes,high and low, but nothing quite touched my heart. Mr Larkins. Well. He was smutty,he was brazen,he was funny.I laughed. Not often,not much,but I laughed.And the funniest joke of them all was about BREXIT and I cannot even remember it! Then I collected $169 from the reception [I was given a credit of $400 by the company,I had deposit $500 of my own money and I had $169 left to be returned to me] and went to my stateroom to finish packing. We docked in Southampton at 5.30 in the morning and at 7 I was on a train to London,Waterloo. A perfect end to a perfect cruise. Well, not absolutely everything was perfect,of course. And no-one would believe me if I said it was. Take the tables in the self-service restaurant Oceanview, on the 14th floor. They were left covered with other guests'used cutlery and crockery for far too long and far too often wiped clean with the same dirty wet cloth. I never once saw a waiter wash the cloth or replace it with a clean one. I wish there was a guest launderette with an iron. I wear a lot of silk and linen and even though am an expert packer, at times the linen could do with a touch of the iron. And I like to look immaculate. Of course I could have had the items expertly pressed, but it would have become too much of a palava. Even a tiny ship Silversea Cloud had a lovely wash and iron corner. I will have to mention this when I get the questionnaire e-mailed to me. The questionnaire is something you either get at the end of every cruise,or they e-mail it to you. You give answers and marks 1-10, 10 being the highest, to numerous questions about the life on board.

The Gods were smiling at me the last day on the Eclipse. 26/08/2016

The sun from 8 in he morning until early afternoon.The balcony beckoned and at 10 I was resplendent in the altogether on the most comfortable deck chair made even more appealing with two large pillows from the bed.The sea could be seen for just a km or so,above it greyish nothingness with the palest of blue and white flocks covering the horizon. I have never seen anything like it,not a cloud in the sky yet the sky and the sun covered by a blanket cloud. Could life be more perfect? The customary chicken curry for lunch and then,sorting the numerous leaflets from the ship, I came across one offering a combo manicure and pedicure and a full body massage in the Canyon Ranch Spa. Having had neither one nor the other for a long tine, I was ready to be spoilt. The nail polish should have been quick drying. It was not.The massage by a slip of a girl should have been a treat. It was not. She kept on oiling me as if I were a turkey ready for the oven. She had been taught the basics and knows them well, but they should not have been performed in her particular order. The room was cold. I did not enjoy the experience. I avoid any massages on cruise ships [the astronomically high prices make this once in a blue moon treat,this escapade cost me $138.90,this included 17 1/2 % service charge and 15$ tip.I cannot not give a tip,she was a young girl, away from home,missing her family, and $140.42 for the manicure and pedicure] and I can safely say - never again. Unless it is on the Queen Mary done by a Croatian or a Serbian male masseur. They are trained physiotherapists and know the body well. Once they had worked you over,you know you had been worked over. The spa experience took almost three hours,early dinner at 6 was out and my plans for the evening had to be changed. But the Gods began to smile at me again and at dinner I got my favourite table 459-it is by the window and not aligned directly with the the other table next to it but sits slightly backwards. This makes it harder for any-one sitting at that next table to talk to me in comfort and as I prefer to be left alone,the table 459 was a joy to have. The waiters were excellent,just as I like them-efficient,polite,never asking personal questions,simply - professional. And the sommelier also suited my requirements perfectly. On formal evenings I had a glass of red wine I called jokingly Mr & Mrs Washington. Once I also had drambuie [the first time ever]. It was very nice served with ice.

Food on the CelebrityEclipse, 25/08/2016

Ranks amongst the best I have had on a cruise. At times it lacked finesse,e.g - no muslin covered lemon to squeeze over the superb lobster. But then the lobster was served with boiled potatoes and steamed vegetables,letting the crustacean to shine. I hate it served with basmati rice and cannot understand why on earth it should be so, when there is nothing nicer than a simple potato.The desserts were a great disappointment to me, rarely there was one to my liking. But then the Celebrity vessels cater for the American market even though some may sail from Southampton or other European ports. My lovely little P & O Oceana cannot be beaten in this respect.I cannot wait to sail on her again. Tonight,e.g.,Celebrity's signature Baked Alaska with Neapolitan ice cream[don't like ice cream] and sponge covered with meringue [don't like meringue] was chosen by most,I had an upside down pineapple pudding,even that wasn't much to write home about. Salads served in the evenings were simple and inventive,the blue cheese dressing my firm favourite.I regret I didn't try more soups. Had it twice only,excellent. Breakfast was always porridge,fresh fruit - mainly red melon,always deliciously sweet,in fact all fruit was of excellent quality and taste. For lunch I liked nothing better than chicken curry,dhal [curried lentils] rice, pappadom or nan and a glass of cold Budweiser. Perfection. Only once did I have a sandwich and tea in the afternoon. And I feel I have still put on at least a couple of pounds! But then I never went even once to the gym. I just didn't have the time. How can that be, you ma ask. For 12 days you didn't find one hour to go to the gym? No,not even one hour.

Entertainment on the Celebrity Eclipse. 24/08/2016

In the evenings there was nothing I wanted to see and when I did force myself to go to the theatre,there were not even any "has beens" on,only "almost beens" and "never beens". Take the last night,e.g. Steve Larkins performed a salute to Freddie Mercury called Mercury Rising. It should have been Mercury turning over in his grave. If Mr Larkins could sing it would have helped. And judging by tonight's dish of the evening Chas Burnett,this is unlikely to change before we disembark on Friday. I did laugh a couple of nights ago when a comedian the name of whom I do not remember,asked, if there was someone in the audience,who took Viagra. To everyone's surprise an old boy raised his hand. The one and only. We all were in stitches. I have no doubt the rest of the men thought-I wish I had the guts to take the pill let alone admit taking it! Gareth Oliver,an entertainer-singer and ventriloquist-I liked until he brought on the stage his wife. Pretty to look at but I didn't see the purpose of her joining him. The nicest evenings of all were on 20th August in St Petersburg,when local dancers came to perform on the ship. Utterly delightful. A lesson in simplicity,beauty,professionalism. And again when we docked in Warnemunde and the local Germans came on board to play instruments and sing. It seems to be a tradition now. I remember they performed by the swimming pool in July 2012. Yesterday it was inside in the main lobby. And lovely it was,too. When the song known in England as Roll out he barrel was introduced as Czech, a woman behind me said quite indignantly-it is an old ENGLISH song. No, you ignoramus,it is not. It is an old CZECH song called SKODA LASKY. Music by Vejvoda, words by Zeman. And the original goes something like this: Love is wasted on an oaf like him,he doesn't even ask me on a date. When he is next to me he is laughing like a fool and when we walk together in the street there is a 2 meter distance between us.

Shopping. 23/08/2016

I cannot return from any foreign trip without getting presents for my family and friends. In Copenhagen all I wanted was a pair of reading glasses. After two long hours of walking the back streets of the Port I returned to the ship with a sore toe but without the glasses. Stockholm was drenched in rain water. Never have I experienced such bad weather on a cruise. Sill,my two lovely nephews will be the lucky recipients of snazzy black long-sleeved T-shirts by a Swedish designer. I have also bought face creams and a mask made in Sweden. In Tallinn you must get linen clothes. Nowhere is linen as affordable as in Estonia. I have two long dresses with slits on the sides and large front pockets,comfortable,easy to wear,easy to look after. My favourite shop is called Veta, I went straight in to see if they had dresses similar to the ones I have already. They did,in two different colours. I bought them both. Tonight I wore one and felt a million dollars. There was also an imitation crocodile skin bag I just had to have.I love shoes.I love bags. As I was paying two ladies walked in and one said-beautiful.It must be Italian leather and very expensive. Estonian imitation and very cheap,I replied. And as always I found just the right necklace to go with all my summer clothes-pale string interspersed with pale stones. In a gallery selling Estonian made items only, I found adorable bow-ties for my 7 and 10 year old god-sons and a knitted purse for a friend. I couldn't resist colourful bracelets for my nieces. Any jewellery is always appreciated and I try to find unusual pieces easy to wear and adjustable. St Petersburg has masses of shops selling Russian made trinkets but I never buy souvenirs,only practical items. Having done homework before the cruise,I knew I wanted Natura Siberica beauty products and clothes by Russian designers. I found the first, the second will have to wait for my next visit. The Port has quite comprehensive duty free shops.I had a look in and was impressed with the items on sale.I got myself a red cap and a tiny black lacquered box for my sister,she collects them.As I was paying I noticed the most beautiful lacquered box under the glass. I was smitten.230 euro. But I had to have it.Utterly adorable. And the real mccoy with a certificate with the name of the artist. Warnemunde has a little shop after a little shop be it with clothes, shoes, bags. The most unusual of them all is a shoe shop called Easy Way. The boxes are on display,all higlgedy- piggledy,in a seemingly lackadaisical way yet the assistant finds everything quickly and easily. It is a treasure trove of something different,unusual,strange for both men and women. I couldn't resist two pairs of shoes and two pairs of ankle boots at 859.60 euro for the lot. Astronomical,I know,but I may not be able to return for a year or two or three. Well, that is my reasoning! And I do love shoes. I needed a bag to carry the shoes home in,so I got myself a lightweight, massive bag by Day Birger et Mikkelsen,a designer I have admired for a long time. The 85 euro stylish bag will be useful to take on all future cruises.

Warnemunde. 23/08/2016

The last stop. Germany at its best. This is my third visit and the lovely little gem with 8,000 inhabitants has not lost its charm. Immaculate houses,neat colourful gardens, tiny porches covered with flowers. The shops delightful,enticing. Streets safe to walk in,clean. So little traffic,quite negligible in fact,no buses. The town square easy to negotiate,everything one needs is here,kaffe at every corner,a pharmacy where I got exactly the kind of old fashioned elastoplast I was looking for for the toe I am still nursing [ not the useless fast healing strips]. There is a strange little shoe shop with strange shoes,they look old fashioned yet are the latest fashion. I bought four pairs today,but about the shopping later. A small hotel at the sea-front to the left from the bridge where I had excellent schnitzel and an apple strudel [ not the best I have ever had, but good nonetheless],when I was here last, was my first choice for lunch but then I decided to try another place. There was a very busy restaurant at almost the end of the sea-front to the right from the bridge,but I wasn't hungry when I passed by and when almost an hour later I did want to sit down, I came across another little gem,but too many people had the same idea,the queue far too long, so I retraced my steps and went inside the Kaffe Backerei Sparre I had passed earlier. The sandwich was E X C E L L E N T,filled with ground meat,vegetables and pickled cabbage,the last bite as good as the first. Small espresso was excellent but too small, so had a cappuccino and a cake,a twirly whirly with poppy seeds. Good, but had it been without the white sugar glaze it would have been even better,I am not much for the fancy footwork. And it was time to return to the ship. Some people went on a bus to Berlin. Four hours on a bus is three hours too many. One of the places to visit was Sachsenhousen Concentration Camp by Berlin, the first Nazi concentration camp. Who on earth would want to see this desolate place filled with grief and pain and death,on a holiday and why was it a part of the itinerary in the first place? As in 2012 there will be German Beerfest with Local Ooom-Pah Brass Band & Barrel Organ performance laid on tonight on the ship by the Germans. Quite wonderful and absolutely not to be missed. Then at midnight we will set off for Southampton. The time has passed far too quickly. I am already thinking where to sail next. How can any-one not love cruising?

I am drunk. 22/08/2016

Yes ,for he first time in a very long time, in fact I do not even remember the last time I felt I was DRUNK! During dinner I had a glass of " Washington Merlot".It is lovely wine I like as much as a teetotaller can like wine. Allan,the sommelier,pours me a glass every evening and I know my arteries thank him for it. But tonight was the night to have a shot of drambuie on ice. Never having had it before I was surprised how nice it tasted. After the first class dinner of seafood salad and aged roast beef with all the trimmings plus the horseradish I like the most of all the condiments and this make was particularly good, I ordered "sticky toffee pudding"with roasted pineapple,caramelized banana and puffed grain,whatever that was. And it was seriously good,so good,in fact,that it called for an aperitif. Hence the glass of drambuie. There was so little of it and it cost nine and a half $ ! Is this the cost of alcohol? That alone would make be go off the booze altogether! I drink so rarely,and if I do have a glass of red wine,I never have any other drink. Tonight was an exception and I can feel it. So instead of going to the theatre at 10.30 it is the bed.

Midnight tour of St Petersburg. 22/08/2016

At 11 at night the 41 of us sat off on a 3 hour tour of the city.We travelled along the bank of the Neva River,crossing draw bridges,passing Vasilievsky Island's Rostral Columns and Peter and Paul Fortress,had a photo stop at the Palace Square,with views of the Baroque Winter Palace,the residence of the Russian Royalty,lit up like a Christmas tree.Standing there in all its majesty so remote from the turmoil of 1917 when it was set on fire and looted.I closed my eyes and visualized Doctor Zhivago,the beautiful Julie Christie [She had a house in Linden Gardens, London,once,often I would see her wearing scruffy clothes ,black sweater covered in hair,once with an ugly tear in a stocking,looking very much her age] and Omar Sharif.The music of a street performer.Young people sitting on the cold ground,swaying to the sound of the song,singing along, some dancing.We took photographs of the Spilled Blood Church,quite magnificent even at night,a large limousine parked outside,a group of people walking with guards, obviously a very important cargo.We had another stop by the Smolny cathedral.A car stopped with two young couples beautifully dressed,they came to see the magnificence of the bridge being raised to the sound of Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker.Quite surreal.We drove off heading towards the ship, with the,a slip of a girl, pointing to various buildings.Palaces and more palaces now made to serve the people as museums or exhibition halls or hospitals or a part of St Petersburg University. The next morning  the sun shining as if it had to make up for previous day's gloom. I couldn't tear myself away from the balcony,but at 2 was on a bus setting off for a "Walk along Nevsky Prospect with shopping".Nevsky Prospect is something akin to London's Oxford street,only wider and longer,4 miles long, in fact.I had a plan.At No 108,Natura Siberica,Russian[?] made products.predominantly bio,No 51 and 151 clothes designed by Russian designers.In the heat the mile to No 108 took almost an hour.Having purchased numerous items I made my way across the road to look for No 51,Tatyana Parfionova.Through the windows I could see the shop was empty.And to get inside you had to ring the bell.A young girl,quite plain,in plain clothes opened the door.I have never been inside any shop so exquisite.I wasn't prepared for this Haute Couture.There were some items hanging on the rails.I loved a skirt,a flimsy netting to die for.The price to die for with fright.But  do I need another skirt I will wear once in a blue moon,as all the other  adorable skirts I have ?I went to drown my sorrow in the loveliest place in St P to have coffee-The Grand Hotel Europa just a minute or so from the bus meeting point.With twenty minutes to spare I remained in the lobby bar.Latte a bit weak,but the presentation, oh the presentation! Petit fours, silver tray,silver everything.At 420 rubles,£5 to you and me,it should have been gold-plated!But I loved it and left the grateful waitress 5 euro tip.The nice guide,must have been 70 if a day,was given 10 euro and a shower cream and a body lotion in a cosmetic bag [the bag and various potions I got in Stockholm].The night guide I gave the bottle of bubbly waiting for me in the stateroom as it was mine to do with as I wished. And the guide to Tsarskoye Selo also got 10 euro and a set of shower cream and body lotion. Giving a little thank you presents makes me happy.

Dreams do come true. 22/08/2016

Am sitting with my lovely Toshiba on the lovely balcony of the lovely cabin 9275 on the lovely Celebrity Eclipse. Heaven. Wrapped up in the pristine dressing gown,another gown covering my legs. Yes, I have two of them in the cabin [not legs, dressing-gowns!],as I am paying for 2 people. This is the way it is. If you book a single cabin for one, you pay the single cabin price. If you book a double cabin just for one person, you pay the full price for two. I have been once only in an inside stateroom. It was on Queen Mary several years ago,a Christmas cruise for four nights.When booking there was only one cabin with balcony left and I wanted my sister and her husband to occupy it. My stateroom was large and perfectly nice with a brand new carpet. But never again. I want to see the sea, the same yet ever changing horizon of the rippling waves. I never draw the curtains and often sit on the balcony even in the wind, sometimes wrapped up in a duvet, half asleep half awake remembering what will never come back again... my Olly.The pain has become my friend and my enemy...And then the tears come,quite involuntarily... a sea of them, an ocean...So after two days in St.Petersburg we are on our way to Germany. I had booked three tours in this magnificent Russian city. The first, on Saturday,was to Tsarskoye Selo and Catherine Palace,the royal summer residence. The amber room at the Palace,considered the 8th wonder of the world by the Russians,was beyond belief,fully restored at quite an expense as has the rest of the building. St.Petersburg has more palaces than any other city I have been to. You drive through the streets and there they stand in their glory,one after another,massive,splendid. The obscene wealth of the pampered few must have been breathtaking. Only when you see this do you begin to understand why there was a revolution in 1917,why Tzar Nicholas and his family were killed and what had contributed to the horror that followed for decades with the life and soul destroying gulags,the secret service mercilessly weeding out" the enemies of the state."  When I read Bulgakov's Master and Margarita for the first time,the book instantly became my favourite book of all time. There are passages that broke my heart and still do. The tour took four hours and even though the guide was in a class of her own,[her knowledge and memory astonishing],the bus very comfortable and the itinerary on a normal day absolutely splendid,this didn't turn out to be a normal day by any means. It was a heavens opened up day when all the rain tried to come down all at once on this Saturday 20 August 2016! Was I glad to be under the roof of the Eclipse! Lunch and warm bed. And then at 5 a miracle - the clouds had disappeared just like that,and the sun popped out, strong, magnificent,as if it had never been away. And shining directly on my balcony. In a flash I was lying on the sun-deck in the alltogether until the sun went down. A perfect end to a not perfect yet still somehow very satisfying ,gloriously happy day.

Good-bye lovely St Petersburg, 21/08/2016

As I am writing this am siting by my lovely Toshiba on the lovely balcony of the lovely room on the lovely Eclipse. Could life be any lovelier? I am so blessed.

Stockholm, 18/08/2016

We docked in the ugliest part of the city,somewhere in the south. And if that wasn't bad enough,it was pouring when I went out to board the shuttle to drop us off near the Central Station. The whole ship seemed to have the same idea and there we were queuing in the pouring rain having paid $10 for the privilege. My mission was to buy a pair of reading glasses and as luck would have it,there was a great big sign saying APOTEKET,the Pharmacy to you and me, just opposite the drop off point. Spacious,immaculately clean shop served by one solitary girl. The most beautiful blonde I have seen for a very long time. And delightfully pleasant and charming with a smile many men would die for. She showed me a pair of glasses,then let me wonder about looking at face creams. I chose Apoliva and Aco and some elastoplast for my toe. I asked the angel face where were the nearest clothes shops and following her instructions I went looking. In the next doorway there was a gypsy woman sitting on the ground,begging. Not having any cash to give her,I decided on my way back I would buy her a sandwich and coffee from Mac Donald's I had past earlier. Two doors further I walked into a shoe shop to buy a pair of socks. I have at least fifty pairs at home I never wear and always forget to bring some when going on a cruise. The assistant was nice and I asked if there was a coffee shop nearby. She said yes, on the fourth floor. Then I looked around and realized I was in fact in a department store called AHLENS. I took an escalator up to the the Italian pizzeria. Never in my entire life have I seen anything quite like it. Every single table occupied,people talking,laughing,waiters running with plates overflowing with the most enticing looking pizzas and various types of pasta. I knew a cup of coffee just would not do,it had to be a pizza Margarita. How shall I describe it? THE BEST PIZZA EVER. EVER! A small glass of beer and I was in heaven. Still pouring cats and dogs I knew the best thing to do was to stay in the store and make myself busy. And I did. I bought long sleeved identical T-shirts for my nephews at 1400 Swedish krona for the two,have no idea what it is in £. And,of course, could not resist EMMA.S' foaming mask and an eye cream. And for the wife of my nephew a lip balm by Dr. Lipp in an irresistible packaging [She is forever complaining about dry cracked lips and uses a balm even at night. Her 10 year old son,my god-son is going to have the same problem. As the weather hadn't improved I decided to return to the ship. There was just the gypsy lady to take care of. But she was gone. I caught the shuttle that was about to leave.

18/08/2016, The Captain's club

is a loyalty scheme offered by Celebrity Cruises. Almost every cruise company has own way of rewarding,thus keeping customers.It is similar to high street shops' way of rewarding frequent "shoppers".I am in the SELECT category having been with Celebrity three times only,even though I have cruised with the Royal Caribbean several times and it is the same "mother"company. Will check how/if it all figures together. I always prefer a stateroom high up,the views are more spectacular. This time I am on the 9th floor Panorama deck. My cabin offers a Hansgrove shower head,32"LCD TV,Egyptian cotton linens,priority check in,preference on shore excursions,dining and eating preference,use of golf umbrella and binoculars,pillow menu,daily hors d'oeuvres and a tote bag as a gift. To me the priority check in and the dining preference are of importance,but every little extra bit goes towards a lovely time on board. Violeta is a dedicated concierge for the concierge passengers. I haven't had the need to use her services yet as I am very capable of sorting out my requirements myself.

17/08/2016, Wednesday at sea.

Not a day for sunbathing weatherwise. The usual breakfast followed by sitting with my little Toshiba. Lunch in the self-service. Chicken curry,rice,pappadom ,a glass of red wine the name of which escapes me. Cheese and two slices of the freshest brown bread. Back into my stateroom to my chromebook. And then I fell asleep. Like a log. When I woke up I did not know for a moment where I was. That is the best sleep ever. I have been listening a lot to Latin music on this cruise. There is a choice of several genres and at the moment the Latin songs are my favourite.I love the rhythm,I love to move to it. It was lovely lying in my soft bed on my soft pillows moving now and then to Marc Anthony. Quick change of clothes and off to the dining room. All around the same morose faces I remember from the night before, staring at me. Very nice crab cake followed by a rather disappointing vegetable curry with a side salad no dressing was brought for. And I dint't ask for it either. Sometimes one just goes with the flow,so to speak. Had cold Budweiser, best refreshing drink with Indian food. New York cheese-cake with hot cherries was a perfect end to a food-wise disappointing,otherwise very pleasant dinner. Actually they were two separate deserts - the cake and the jubilee cherries,but I ordered them both without any sauce or ice-cream.

17/08/2016, Never judge a sausage by the skin.

On Monday when having lunch,there was a middle aged couple at a table next to mine. Just as I was seated a lady sommelier had opened a bottle of red and poured a bit into a glass. The man sniffed,swirled some in his mouth and declared it very nice indeed. As my booking deal included a classic drinks package,a part of which is wine-by-the-glass up to $11 per serving,I've decided to be liberal with red wine,after all it is one of the best natural keepers of healthy arteries. So I ordered a glass of red.The lovely waitress asked if the same wine the couple had approved would be satisfactory. Of course, I thought,after all a connoisseur had chosen it. To me the wine was no better nor worse than any other I had drunk in the past,I never like the taste,really,but drink it for the health benefits [truly,I do]. There was a sediment at the bottom of the glass. The wine should have been decanted. Neither the connoisseur nor the expert who had poured it knew this. And by the way,the woman talked constantly with her mouth full. She may have been the man's wife but she sure was not a lady.

17/08/2016, Copenhagen.

Have been here several times and like the city more and more with every visit. Clean,simple,spacious. Over the years have taken at least twice a shuttle bus to town and back, at least twice have walked the distance there and back. This time it was going to be different. I had broken my reading glasses and even though can still see through them,would like to get a new pair. So decided to find an optitian near the port. I walked the surrounding streets for two hours,for two long hours and nowhere,absolutely nowhere did I see a pharmacy or some such shop. The Danes must be the healthiest people in Europe. And I never saw one single overweight person,not one. On the Eclipse at every which turn there is a big backside wobbling about. I reckon we have more fat people here than Denmark has in total. To add insult to injury,after all the unsuccessful walking I developed a blister the size of a walnut on the inside of my left big toe. How and why this happened remains a mystery to me as I have had the skechers for a year now, wear them every time I go for long walks and have been one of the most comfortable pairs of footwear ever. So now I am nursing my sore foot and the gym is for the time being off limits. And just when I thought I would learn new dace moves! Lunch was the most disappointing meal on the ship so far. Bread freshly baked, as always utterly delicious,a choice of at least three different kinds. Mushroom soup could not be faulted.Smoked pork,sauerkraut and mashed peas looked a perfect choice on paper,but...where do I start? The meat too dry and so strong,the life seemed to have been smoked out of it,the mushy peas I like so much I found very unpleasant and after a mouthful couldn't stomach any more. The only redeeming ingredient was the sauerkraut,there was only one thing wrong with it - not enough on the plate. Banana creme brulee was good, ate almost the lot,but not my choice of a perfect desert. The sun-lit balcony made up for all the pain of the blown-up blister and the disappointing lunch. There are two things that make a cruise perfect for me - a little table for myself at meal times and a balcony where I can sunbathe in the nude. And the time has come to indulge in the latter! Glorious!

17/08/2016, Monday night was the first formal night.

Formal night Celebrity style.You dress up a little if you want to and if you don't you can still dine in any old sweater and any old trousers,even in sneakers should you so wish and many men did. On a Cunard ship this just would not do. But frankly I do not care anymore. As long as people do not smell I close my eyes to everything even if not my nose. I dress as I please. Have never,in fact ,packed as few clothes as on this cruise and am beginning to think even the few are few too many. Was one of the first in at 6,a table by the window. Perfection. Salmon starter,a concoction of ingredients I do not remember anymore. Divine. Goose beautifully presented and so tender,was melting in the mouth. New York cheese cake,a firm favourite on Celebrity ships. And up to bed. THE MARTIAN on TV. Could life be any more wonderful?

Celebrity Eclipse, Scandinavia and St Petersburg, 14 August,2016.

Celebrity Cruises has been rated [by the Cruise Critic,If I remember correctly] the best premium cruise-line 8 years in a row.I am not surprised. The check-in was a breeze [I was priority,but it wouldn't have been any slower had I gone "regular"]. Having with some misgivings handed over my solitary suitcase [ if it gets lost I have nothing,but if the lifts are full and I decide to walk up to the ninth floor...]Ten or so minutes later I was inside the ship,directions to the staterooms simple and clear,it was as easy as pie to get one's bearing.I have been on on the Eclipse twice- on 21 July 2012 for 12 nights to Scandinavia and Russia,doing probably the same itinerary as now.And then with my sister and her husband on 31 August 2013,8 nights to Norwegian fjords. Celebrity cruises have a loyalty program called Captain's club.When I tried to check whether my cruises had been registered,I realized that in 2012 I had stayed in a Veranda cabin at a Concierge level. To date the position of that cabin has been my favorite of all.I remember when sailing out of St Petersburg, the view behind was the most magnificent,not yet beaten by any other port including Stockholm or Venice.People are astonished when I tell them this Why? Just because it is Russia? Since 2012 the concierge class has been upgraded,more benefits added. When I opened the door into my cabin 9275 on the 9th floor my heart jumped with joy.Large room,large bed,large bathroom,large shower cubicle,large balcony with 2 large chairs to lie on. Magnificent. Sparkling wine on the table,three apples on a tray, a knife and a fork on a small plate,serviettes, a bottle of water. Gilchrist & Soames toiletries I am not familiar with,but if they are good enough for the other Concierge passengers,they will be good enough for me.Hansgrohe massaging shower head.A dressing gown [2,in fact].But no slippers.After the obligatory safety drill it was time to unpack,have a quick walk into the lobby to deposit $500 into my account[this had already been credited by the cruise company with $400 to spend as I please,as a kind of thank you for being a loyal customer],change and go down to have my first evening meal.My designated table was a table for 6.Not me,not myself,not Irene!6!Had I been explained in a sensible way I could walk up one floor and have a table to myself as a FREEDOM diner,it would have been a prefect end to a perfect day.But in all the excitement the nice young man at the door didn't tell me this[the freedom dining had been introduced after my last stay on the ship, was not aware of it],so I walked up to the self-service restaurant on the 14th floor.It was just as I remembered-spacious,light,food beautifully laid out. I had chicken curry,lentil dhal,rice,very nice.Some square dessert the name of which escapes me,there was nothing special to remember about it,in fact. And so to bed and try and work out how the TV works.All is well that ends well.I slept like a log until well after 9. Breakfast of porridge and red melon is my usual on a ship,orange juice from a dispenser undrinkable as was the coffee.Paid for a freshly pressed glass of juice and went to Cafe al Bacio for a cup of late with an extra shot,always an extra shot,otherwise it is too weak.Lunch in the Moonlight Sonata,one of the first to be in to ensure I had a table to myself.And I did.Fried sticks of cheese with a pesto sauce,edible,but would not have it again,sauce quite awful.Gazpacho soup with overpowering herbs,unpleasant. Grilled turkey medallions,risotto,some greens,loved it even though the chef was a bit heavy handed with the salt. Took a walk up to the self-service to see if a piece of cake I was dying for would be found.Nothing to my taste but a little roll with a bit of tuna filling did the trick. And so to bed and the TV. Yes,in the afternoon!

The final word on the 16-23 July,2016 cruise on Britannia.

Was the cruise a good value for money? NO. Two adults and two children of 7 and 10 - £ 2,620. Two adults and a baby of 14 months - £ 1,787. I do not have the figures for my sister,her husband and myself at hand. There was an additional service charge they call AUTO GRATUITY CHARGE of £38.50 per person, £269.50 in total for the 7 adults. This is one payment I never resent making, even though I have great misgivings the money is being shared between the staff. Our total additional bill was £740.31 plus £50 I have paid as a deposit for a future P & O cruise. I must add that I made the reservations in November of last year. The seven adults on this cruise all but myself and the baby's mum dance to an employer's tune and in order to be able to take two weeks holiday at the same time,they had to have a date to work towards months in advance. Would we have paid less for a last minute booking? I do not know and frankly would much rather not know now. But there are always bargains to be had especially on a massive ship like this where a large number of staterooms needs to be filled. I cannot wait for another P & O cruise, most likely on the little Oceana even though I have not made a reservation yet. This coming Sunday 14th August I am sailing on the lovely Celebrity Eclipse to Scandinavia and Russia for 12 nights.

The population of the UK today, 07/08/2016, is 64,928,787.

How on earth can our little island accomodate all these people?

06/08/2016, Almost the final word on Britannia.

Having said good-bye to the last of my 9 visitors, having washed the last towel and the quilt-cover,fed the birds,watered the plants,swept the front and the back yards,cooked a meal [wholemeal pasta with tomato sauce and masses of freshly grated parmigiano reggiano] and having drunk the beer left in the fridge by the boys,I can finally sit down in total peace and quiet and consider the requiem for my last cruise. Would I sail on Britannia again? No. It is not suitable for people travelling alone. There is nothing on it to incite me to return. Britannia is a floating Costa del Sol. It is too big,too impersonal and offers very little to a discerning traveller. If you like decent food, the sun and the booze with some entertainment thrown in, you will be in your element. If you like glamour,refined company[at least the semblance of it],the total sense of luxury and well-being,you will be disappointed. At night the ship is very noisy. I believe 6 revellers who just wouldn't be told to keep it down,were off loaded in La Rochelle,or was it Bilbao? My nephew and his boys of 7 and 10,and in the next room another nephew with a toddler, were woken up at 2.30 one night with a loudspeaker announcement they didn't understand. The children were frightened,the teething baby they took hours to settle to sleep,was so startled he cried and cried until just after 5. Neither the parents nor the neighbours got any sleep that night. It was the night before the morning the 6 rowdy cruisers were thrown off the ship. But there were many instances of unpleasant behaviour. I myself had an ugly experience the very first night. On one side of may stateroom there was a couple I never heard,on the other side two boozers in their 60's woke me up at 3 and again at 6,they were smoking [strictly forbidden] on the balcony and talking loudly. Thankfully several guests complained and it did the trick. But when people drink they become omnipotent and omniscient. Apparently the six were warned once,they were warned the second time and when they still didn't listen, they were told to leave. I have absolutely no sympathy for these louts. Every ship must be quite merciless when dealing with conduct unbecoming. We sailed on Britannia out of necessity,we wanted a family holiday in the sun for the 10 of us for seven nights in the middle of July. Britannia was the only ship that offered this. I have no regrets,we all had a wonderful time but it would have been so much better had the management controlled the noise at night.

06/08/2016, Ticket penalty.

Having taken my sister and her grand-son,my god-son, to the Liverpool street train station,the 3.55 was to depart for the Stansted airport, so we quickly said our good-byes,I stood for a few moments by the barriers and when I couldn't see them any longer,turned towards the underground. And then I realized the handle of the suitcase I was carrying was still firmly in my hand.I quickly explained to the guard what happened, he could see me waiving and believed me, he let me through and I boarded the train walking from one carriage to the next. When I finally saw them in the last carriage but one, the train was moving and I knew I was also going to Stansted! No-one came to check the tickets and there was no other way I knew of to buy one on the train,so when we stopped at the airport I went immediately towards the guard,explained briefly what had happened asking where to go and purchase one. Little did I know that what would follow would emotionally scar me for life [this is a joke,I am made of sterner stuff!] The attitude was - you travel without a ticket you are a criminal and we have the right to treat you as such. To cut the long story I didn't see the end of,short, I said to the young policeman,whom I could feel believed me and if a policeman indicates he believes you,it is quite something - I have had enough of this,doesn't this man understand plain English,I want to end this and pay. So at long last I handed the Chinaman the £38 penalty and another £19 for the ticket back to London. I believe I have 21 days to appeal and appeal I will.Do I believe it is not going to make the slightest difference and I am not going to get part of the money back? Yes.

"Good afternoon Ludka",welcomed me my little Toshiba.

Good afternoon,my lovely friend.I have so grown accustomed to you over the past four months,you are now a part of my life.

05/08/2016,I am beginning to come to a conclusion the little squirrel in my garden is an orphan.

I have seen it hopping towards the trough by itself several times in the past week and today at dusk when the pigeons descended into the garden it appeared to be afraid of them and I have never seen a squirrel afraid of a bird,it is always the pigeons staying in the background when the squirrels come to dinner. But this little mite hasn't yet learnt where exactly in the pecking order it stands not having the parents to guide it. I hope it will learn before the cat gets it Several nights in a row there have been terrifying shrieks in the garden of a life being taken but I can see no sign of a struggle in the morning.

02/08/2016, Am I killing the pigeons with kindness?

My nephew is of the opinion that I am,as they waddle around the garden like ducks and their wings can barely lift them up,making them an easy target for a big black cat that is now and then lurking about. But if I left less food in the feeding trough the pigeons would eat it all and nothing would remain for the smaller birds and the squirrels. There is a baby squirrel that comes for dinner now and then,the tiniest I have ever seen in my garden. I haven't seen the parents and fear it may be an orphan. I want to give it a chance to survive alone. After my lovely visitors left last Friday I cleared out the fridge and a lot of food including cheese,salads,blackberries and even chicken noodle soup went into the trough [not at the same time,of course]. Everything has been consumed to the last morsel.