Where has the time flown?

Was hoping to reflect yesterday and today,as both are sea days, on this Christmas 2017 cruise,but have had not a minute to sit down!Until now.Having settled with my little Toshiba I ordered coffee.The waitress brought it saying - sorry,madame,I could not get the payment with your card.Off to the reception I went - there is $48 in my account,but I could not pay for the coffee, you have frozen me out,I said. Cannot be. Yes,it can and it is. After a few buttons were pressed I was assured all was well.I paid the coffee and went to pick up an after shave lotion. My account could not be accessed again. This time not very happy at all I went back to the reception and spoke with the same person.Cannot be,she said. It can and it is.Let me go and speak with the manager to see what the problem is. No,thank you,I would like to close the account now,get the remaining dollars and the matter is finished. To be embarrassed once I could have lived with,mistakes do happen and the machines are not infallible. To be humiliated twice is twice too often. I deposit cash,because I am not happy giving my debit/credit card details to any-one.I am a platinum customer. I know the routine.I keep my account healthy.Cunard, you should keep your system in decent working order so that unpleasant mistakes like this do not happen.

I have just realized that before today's entry the last time I wrote was a week ago.

Where has the time gone? We left Southampton on Sunday 17th December.Every day on board of the beautifully refurbished Queen Victoria has been absolutely wonderful.The next two days will be sea days and I will have time to reflect. We have now docked alongside the Transatlantic peer,our safe heaven,ahead of the rain and the high winds.

Boxing day 2017, La Coruna, Spain,

as I write am sitting in the most beautiful part of the Queen Victoria, The Library.There is no Library like that at sea.Thank you,Cunard.The ship has just entered the harbour,in a few minutes it will stop.In front of me the familiar sight of one of the ugliest buildings I have been unfortunate to see in a port,more so because it is in Spain,a cultured and developed country. Outside the smell of urine awaits, so very strong after the rain.On my very first visit here in December 2010 the used condoms and the stench around the shopping centre overpowering after the rain, made me want to puke,go back to my cabin and never set a foot on the Spanish soil again. After every cruise I ask why does not the cruise line insist at least the port is kept spotless for the travellers,but it should not even have to be asked,it should be a town's priority,but the town's management does not appear to have pride in their town,it does not care what the strangers think. It is pouring.We should have docked in La Coruna tomorrow morning, but the expected bad weather at the Atlantic ocean had made the commodore Rynd take the decision to sail at full throttle to avoid the strong winds, even though the stabilisers had been deployed.He said the new arrival time would be 18.00 on Boxing day,or sooner,weather allowing.His strategy has paid off, we have sailed hardly noticing the gradually increasing winds and docked smoothly four hours ahead of the new projected time..Commodore Rynd is the master of his craft.

When the taxi dropped me off at my house on 14th December,

I was very happy to see,that my house-sitter did me proud in my absence and had kept the front spick and span,the flower pots watered,just as he had been instructed to do.He took care of the mail,fed the garden residents. Yes,I had a house-sitter,45 nights away without someone keeping an eye on everything would have been irresponsible.I always leave security lights on in my absence,even now the lamps were timed,candles that are battery powered switched on, have learnt every trick under the sun to keep the crooks at bay.Still.Robert is reliable and I was able to leave the boiler on to keep the rooms warm.He was happy to have a lovely break at my home,I was happy to be away and have peace of mind. The mail was piled up in the hallway,I stopped counting the letters when it came to 50.I had just over 2 days to deal with them,pay all bills,check the house as only I can,mainly the roof that no water drainage is blocked with fallen leaves,prepare more food for the inhabitants of the garden,do shopping,cook,unpack,do the laundry,iron.And pack again for the 17 December 12 nights cruise to Canary Islands.And I have done it all.I am writing this seated in the Library of the magnificent Queen Victoria,beautiful,luxurious, warm,cosy,splendidly decked out in the most elegant Christmassy attire, in every corner a shining tree,the banisters dressed to the nines. I dine in the Britannia Club restaurant,knowing the ship would be fully booked for Christmas and wanting to be sure a small table would be there for me only, had decided to stay in a higher class cabin.Is it worth it? I really do not yet know other than I do have a table to myself.And I love every single moment of it,of the five star unadulterated luxury and am not ashamed to admit it. Columbus? Never again !

We were tossed about like lettuce in a bowl

once were were in the open waters after leaving Lisbon. In no time the winds were ferocious.An announcement was made the lifts,bar one for the disabled, were being put out of of action and consequently no hot dinner was going to be provided,only cold Swedish style tables in the Waterfront restaurant.The meagre entertainment was also cancelled or modified.At 18.30 the queue in front of the "Swedish tables" was massive.At 20.30 I joined in.What I saw was unpalatable squares of hard cheese, 3 variations of spam, dishevelled sandwiches I would not feed to a dog,white bread coleslaw sandwiches made even strong men weep,salads I could not stomach,two types of a chocolate cake looking sorry to be on the table.No tea or coffee station.No decent fruit.No bread at all.I asked for some.Grudgingly two white rolls were placed on a plate and handed to me. I said-you touched them with your bare hands, I am not eating it. The next morning breakfast was just as bad,but there were some corn-flakes and fruit,also sliced red melon,every-one's favourite and the moment a tray was placed on the table,the fruit disappeared.But there was some cheese I like and sliced bread I like.I took the plateful to my cabin and made some tea.The lunch.What can I say about the lunch that could distinguish it from the previous breakfast and dinner. It was just as awful.The lifts still not operating.The TV signal we lost on 13,or was it 12 November, still out. And the wi-fi system? Well, as intermittent as ever.Intermittent implies working one minute,not working the next.This was a completely different kettle of intermittent.Not working for days and then after an hour or two hours of trying to login, working intermittently for a while and when trying to logout not working at all and you lose precious expensive good half an hour, if not longer just to end the damn session.The nightmare of it all.Wishing you were anywhere,ANYWHERE, but. Then an announcement was made that we were going to have hot dinner,most of the lifts were usable again and some evening entertainment would take place in the Palladium theatre. I asked several members of staff if the ship had stabilisers.No-one knew for sure, one person said it must have, one was adamant it did not.In my opinion Columbus does not have them.In my opinion it is absolutely criminal that it is not compulsory for a ship crossing the Atlantic with a certain number of human beings on board, to have the stabilisers attached.The Atlantic ocean is the most savage,the most dangerous ocean on earth. When it comes to my safety,my well-being,all bets are off.

Yes,little did I know that much.much worse was to follow,

when I was caught in the mother of all downpours on the way to the ship from the city of Lisbon. The rain continued with greater and greater ferocity without respite and as the ship was leaving the port,the captain warned of the wind picking up a little once we were in the open waters.The little turned out to be quite a lot,but I will come to that. Captain's prediction reminds me now of the BBC weather forecast made by Michael Fish on 15 October 1987.A listener phoned in asking about the impending gale winds.Michael said there was nothing to worry about,no gale winds coming..No gale winds turned into a hurricane the country had not forgotten for years to come.As I will never forget the "wind picking up" when sailing on Columbus.The Atlantic ocean can be ferocious and vicious.What is incomprehensible to me is, that a ship sails across the most dangerous of all oceans with the most precious cargo - human beings - without being fitted out with stabilisers.We were tossed about like lettuce in a bowl.

Well,hurrah,I got the blogger page without trying for an hour,giving up,trying again

and giving up again! But then the British mainland is not far and even Columbus must come up trumps sooner or later,I only wish it has been sooner.For no ship has promised so much and delivered so little. Am sitting in the atrium of the ship, TWO FOR YOU giving their all to just a few passengers.Where is everybody?Was expecting the floor awash with jiving bodies.Nothing.The lady singer,a slip of a girl,my goodness,they are all so young,has a shrieking voice,but holds the tune very well and I like listening to her.Her singing partner,much older,plays the instrument,whatever it is and sings,not so well, but well enough-"Love is in the air" at the moment.She has gone to "Stupid cupid" and this is when her shrieking comes to its own.

The glory days of Lisbon,

in my humble opinion,have not been surpassed since the city's Golden Age,when during the reign of King Manuel [1495-1521],the city thrived beyond belief thanks to Portugal's navigator Vasco Da Gama,who discovered the sea route around the Cape of Good Hope to India and east Africa, and Portugal had it made,colonised large chunks of America,Asia,Africa and became one of the biggest sea -faring empires of all time. The Tower of Belem was built as a lighthouse and fortress to protect the city.The Portugal's most important historical monument, Mosteiro Dos Jeronimos was constructed, the opulence of which cannot be equalled in the whole of the country.The cloistered garden surrounding the monastery is quite enchanting.In 1755 a disaster struck,an earthquake and a fire destroyed most of Lisbon and since then the good old days have never returned. In 1902 Mr Eiffel [yes,that Mr Eiffel] built Santa Justa Elevator,that takes you to the very top of the city, from where the view is magnificent. Lisbon has the longest bridge in Europe,The Vasco Da Gama bridge,17km in length.It also has the longest suspension bridge,Ponte 25 De Abril [ 25th of April Bridge ],2.4km long. Since I was in Lisbon last a money-changing shop has opened on Rua Augusta, No 293,if I remember correctly,in the hub of a tourist area.But do not go here if you want money changed on the day.The two dumcocks behind the counter have no idea what they are doing.And God knows I was watching them and listening to them for 17 long minutes serving one single customer.[I walked out without having any money changed.]But then Rome was not built in a day. On the way back to the ship I was caught in he mother of all downpours.Bad as it was then, little did I know that much,much worse was to follow.

We are sailing all day today,

woke up at 8,but there was nothing in the daily programme to entice me to take a part,so stayed in bed until 11.Did not go to have breakfast,either.My massive comfortable bed is facing a massive window,must be good 3 x 3 m. I have no sun on my side sailing back to England,but it really does not matter,the view whatever the weather is magnificent.The never ending expanse of water,first slightly blue on the horizon,then it merges with the grey and becomes one big rippling blanket,waves jumping up and down,chasing each other playfully as if to say - catch me if you can- and they never can.Times like these I miss my husband the most,I miss sharing the beauty around me,the moments that make life so precious.And suddenly it was 11.And I got up and got ready for lunch proceeded by a brisk walk on the 14th floor.The fellow travellers soaking up the not very strong rays of the sun,some stripped to the waist,one or two in swimming trunks. What I like in every ship's daily newsletter are the snippets of information.Madeira means in Portuguese "timber",Funchal is "fennel".When two Portuguese navigators Zarco and Teixeira discovered Madeira in 1419, it was covered by timber and fennel.Now it is covered by flowers.Madeira the beautiful.

When Columbus was crawling into its Madeira berth yesterday morning,

the island was basking in the most glorious sunshine.I did not dilly dally once the ship was cleared by customs and set out on the loveliest of walks to town,I have never timed the walk, the ship's daily newspaper suggested 25 minutes and 25 it may well be. I wanted coffee,good coffee and knew where to get it, then the shoe shop and the clothes shop,and if time allows, Oriflame cosmetics.Well, we have a saying in Slovakia - clovek mieni,pan Boh meni- one can plan,but God has his own ideas!I took a short side street Rua Dos Murcas and came across an immaculate little coffee shop called Bonjour Cafe,empty at the time, with the nicest of staff,and they make the best coffee in Funchal with milk that smells like milk and tastes like milk,and a delicious hot sweet cheese pastry and freshly squeezed orange juice [ I had two glasses].Fortified I continued on my travels.Eureka shop had exactly what I wanted in the shoe department,the most comfortable nude coloured sandals half price, ankle lace up boots for day,black but with red sole and white heel,utterly lovely,and ankle blue kind of velvety suede boots for the evening,low heel,pointed toe,stylish,elegant.The clothes shop had nothing to make me jump with joy except some very expensive though most unusual long designer necklaces,the one I liked the most was 96 euros, but I resisted,when I return to Funchal on 21st December,it may be on sale.Have I mentioned that I am spending Christmas on board of the Queen Victoria,leaving Southampton 17th December for 12 nights?Yes, I will have just two days to get ready,as we are docking in Tilbury,England on the morning of the 14th December.

I do not like cooked chocolate,

I order a chocolate cake when I long for something sweet-and I do have moments like that-and there is nothing else on the menu that entices me.Like tonight at dinner.As a last resort I settled for a Swedish chocolate cake,as there was nothing else whatsoever I fancied.It was individually baked, plonked in some light coloured sauce with a bit of dark coloured sauce dripping from the top.Not with great joy I took a bite and was in heaven.It can't be.I do not like chocolate cakes, I do not eat them,only in an emergency.And here is a chocolate masterpiece,the best cake I have had on Columbus! No point me praising it to the nines in front of the waiters,they will never get the message that I would like another one! Unlike on The Independence of The Seas or on P&O Oceana! So have looked up "Swedish chocolate cake" on the internet and have come up with KLADDKAKA. Well, KLADDKAKA, you are going to be baked in my family,not by me, but you are going to be baked

Mr Trump has formally recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel

and plans to move the American Embassy there from Tel Aviv. Why now? Why at present, when there is so much turmoil in the world?More protests in the Gaza strip will follow,more violence,more deaths. Haven't enough young men died on both sides? And for what? Still no peace in the Middle East. Still no acceptance either by the Jews or the Arabs of the other side's right to life,to existence.If only in 1967 Israel had been magnanimous and made peace. What Israel did in the Six Way war was a masterstroke.Never had so few done so much for their country as the Israeli soldiers did, massively outnumbered by the Egyptian army,Jordan,Syria,they fought like tigers and were so gloriously victorious,they captured Sinai Peninsula,West Bank,Golan Heights,Gaza Strip and the Old City of Jerusalem.Israel had the trump card in their hands,but it never played it to their advantage politically and never has an opportunity like that returned.Great error of judgement on the part of Israel then,great error of judgement on your part now, Mr Trump.

That was the night that was,

the mother of all nights.It rained all day yesterday,the wind slowly picking up and at about 11 at night it showed just what fun and games it can have with a ship the size of Columbus.Mercilessly tossed us about as if we were just a plaything in a bath-tub. It was not possible to sleep.I have a supply of Slovakian magazines PLUS 7 DNI,[ PLUS 7 DAYS ],excellent,they are as merciless with the greedy politicians or the stars who get too big for their boot or any-one else in the public life who behaves inappropriately,as the wind can be with anything in its way.But the hurricane is indiscriminate,the ocean can be cruel,whereas the magazine is just and fair,I particularly like the page written by Nancy Zavodska. Simple,plain,clear, to the point.At 2 in the morning there was an almighty crash,bang wallop above,something must have got loose,probably a deck-chair.Not that it woke me,I could not sleep until about 5-6 anyway.Oh, how I missed the TV then! Yes, in this day and age a cruise ship is not able to provide a working TV.And the internet signal is just as bad, I have to come to the atrium to get some kind of a connection.But it is such a nightmare!Often I cannot log in, and just as often I cannot log out,paying for precious very expensive minutes I am not able to use. It is now 15.15 on Thursday 7 December,the wind is still strong.In the atrium,where I am sitting,people are flying paper airplanes to see who can make the best one.

Who is the woman behind you,do you know anything about her?

The woman "behind" was myself,the question was asked a couple sitting at the table next to me, by a woman sitting with three other people at a table kind of across,they often walk over to each other during dinner.Half the dining room must have heard.I do not know what the answer was.I was sitting there in disbelief.For four weeks I have been watching the escapades of the curious one,how she eats with her elbows on the table, never lets the knife out of her hand,keeps it in the air,as if attached to it,she burps,picks her teeth and having seen it once,God knows it was not a pretty sight, I try not to look in her direction now,but I could not help noticing her husband and herself looking at me all evening, evidently talking about me and then she comes over to her friend and asks if she knows who I am! Well,I am someone who would much rather sit by herself than share a table with an uncouth idiot like you,I was sorely tempted to say to her. But of course I did not.In the olden days she may have been called the salt of the earth,I call her a slob, but I do not purposely hurt feelings of others whatever my opinion of them may be. How wonderful,however, I do not have to spend the evenings in the company of people like her. And what an evening this is turning out to be, the rain and the wind,the wind and the rain.The ship is just a plaything in the hands of the elements.It was much,much worse when I was on my very first cruise on the Independence of the Seas on 29 November 2010,8 months after my husband passed away,but I found it all so soothing,so calming and slept so well for the fist time in months.

Hurraaaah!

As I write the captain has announced the best,absolutely the best news to almost end the cruise.Due to very unfavourable weather conditions we are not going to be able to dock on Horta,Azores,on the 8th,but would be docking in Funchal,Madeira,on the 9th. Wonderful,love Madeira, there are three shops there waiting for me,a shoe shop, a clothes shop and an Oriflame shop [Scandinavian cosmetics]. Cannot wait. Hurrah,hurrah,hurrah! Rain [and it is coming down cats and dogs],wind [ and it is blowing,oh la la ] I love you!!!

What is "NEW" about COLUMBUS other than that it is new to the fleet?

Nothing on the balcony is new.No bathroom furniture is new. "Recently renovated,CMV's flagship is ready to take you to all four corners of the world" says the ship's propaganda.Something must have been done to warrant this claim,but for the life of me I cannot see what it is. The vessel is medium sized.It has 775 cabins of which 150 are single for solo travellers,28 are deluxe balcony cabins and 36 Junior balcony suites.I have originally,in June 2016,booked a deluxe cabin,thinking as it was going to be a "new" ship with so very few deluxe cabins with a balcony,they will sell like hot cakes.They have not.I had been upgraded to a Junior Suite.Heinz booked his Junior Suite two weeks before sailing.I do not dare to ask how much he got the suite for,probably much.much less than I paid for the deluxe cabin.One thing I know.Never ever am I going to book a cruise so far ahead.Never.Last minute buys are the best. So I am in a Junior Suite.It is on the 11th floor.When the ship was originally built in 1988 it was probably a good idea to have the best,most expensive units at the top.But a lot of water has flown under the bridge since then,the Star Princess, as the ship was originally called, having been constructed for the Princess Cruises,has changed hands several times,various alterations have been made to it,things taken away,things added.The structure has changed.Now sleeping in the suite 11140,unless you are hard of hearing,is a nightmare.The infernal sighs, moans,groans,the irritating never ending crackling sounds coming from the ceiling,from all around.The first two weeks I did not get a decent night's sleep,I was ready to climb the crackling walls and knew if I did not get used to it soon,I would either jump the ship or go doolalah.In Ponta Delgada, when stationary, I slept like a baby!The suite is under the swimming pool area and all that it entails.I do not mind the noise in the daytime,but when it gets dark and I want to relax and have the internal noises to cope with, the external racket begins.Crash,bang,wallop. And I want to screaaaaam!The ceiling itself is lovely,probably the nicest ceiling I can remember on a ship,a lot of thought had gone into the work,nice,neat.No dripping from the ventilation on the bed, as there has been on one or two other vessels, making one worry about the Legionnaire's disease.But why,oh why did they not think about what they were putting above the ceiling when "renovating" Columbus? Are there water supply pipes, sewage drainage and the drainage from the swimming pool, does it house loose electricity cables? What is it up there that is making my life hell? And not just mine.Heinz has non-stop noises just above his bed,two similar noises following one another in perpetual motion. The imitation mahogany furniture must have been beautiful when installed and it must have cost a pretty dollar.But almost half a century later with the shine,the gloss gone, it is old,ugly,scruffy,stained and nowhere is it more obvious than on the worn out doors to the safe.The bed is large and comfortable[in fact two beds pushed together],pillows not so much,but sleepable.And it faces the window!That is the most wonderful thing about the cabin.Going to sleep with the view of the never ending sea, waking up to the beauty of it.There is a large sofa,a comfortable armchair with a stool, a round wooden table.The TV set is far too small for the large cabin,there is a dvd player,two large mirrors, nice pictures on the walls.Hair dryer is awkward to use, the small coffee and tea station enable one to make beverages to enjoy on the balcony,and I do.

Is there anything new about the bathroom in the suite 11140 of Columbus?

There was the most beautiful bathroom installed in this suite in 1988 for Princess Cruises.The ship was then called Star Princess.And the star of the whole fleet it must have been,a pretty buck had been spent so well, that the very substantial and perfectly made furniture has lasted 40 years and will probably outlive all other Cruise and Maritime bathroom fittings.Yes, the height of fashion almost half a century ago, now outdated,outdated,outdated.Towels plentiful,soft,immaculately white,and they smell nice,rinsed thoroughly.A tub with a plastic screen and a shower head.Water the best I remember on any ship,cold when it is supposed to be cold and hot,very,very hot,when I want it to be hot.The shower is powerful,absolutely wonderful on my neck and back.I can wash and rinse my plentiful hair at any time of day.The bathroom Pure Herbs toiletries are excellent,smell lovely and are in constant supply.I have run out of my regular toothpaste,Dr Organic Tea Tree,have used the tiny tub supplied by the ship, Colgate,mint cavity,it is absolutely lovely,will definitely buy it when at home.As I have brought my own shampoo and conditioner [Australian] and a body lotion [Si,the best ever,smells divine],so have taken a few bottles to give as a thank you to two tourist guides,after all I have paid handsomely for them.There is a toothbrush,a toothpaste,a shaving kit for a man and a few other bits and bobs,all very nice indeed.But can anything be said about a "new" bathroom? Not even if my imagination was stretched to Timbuctoo.

COLUMBUS, JUNIOR SUITE 11140.

Ask any-one what "a new ship"implies and without exception every-one would say - new as opposite of old, clean,neat,well decorated,well presented,simply the best it can be,new furniture,new bathroom fittings, new balcony furniture,new everything,New. But new Columbus is not. THE BALCONY.It is narrow and long,but fits two chairs and a good-size large round metal table comfortably.It has railings,instead of glass and this suits me perfectly,as I can sunbathe in the nude without being reflected in the glass.The blue patterned flooring is old,badly fitted,partly laid in small pieces that rise up,has holes in them and when it rains it takes forever to drain.But the worst thing of all is,that it is absolutely filthy,covered in stains,as are the the two deck-chairs,the most uncomfortable I have ever had on a ship and absolutely not suitable for a Junior Suite,utter disgrace,Cruise and Maritime,utter disgrace. There is rust all around.splashes I cannot tell of what on the white walls. There is absolutely nothing new abut this shabby scruffy balcony.

When I returned from the Aerial Tram tour in St Lucia

I found Kit Kat on my bed with a little note FROM DINCHA. Dincha is my cabin attendant.I asked him - what have I done to deserve this? It is my birthday,today I am 27,he said. But on your birthday you should be getting a present, not giving one! I ran to pick something from the gifts I had bought for my family and friends.I chose a box of Caribbean chocolates filled with rum,made in St Lucia. I could see he was quite touched.He is a nice boy.The staff on Columbus is predominantly Ukrainian.Cruise and Maritime Voyages are very lucky to have them.In the Waterfront restaurant there is a Ukrainian waiter serving in the evenings the tables adjoining mine.Never have I seen any-one work quite like him.He moves with the speed of lightning,sees everything that needs to be done, does everything with efficiency and smile,constantly moving,constantly re-filling the glasses with water,always on the spot when wine needs topping up.He is twice as fast as his co-waiter,who is his superior and five tines as fast as both my waiters.After five weeks on board I can say with clear conscience, that I have the worst restaurant service I have ever had on a cruise.The worst. Columbus has two redeeming features - good food, certainly much better that the often inedible rubbish served on a five star Queen Elizabeth,not always, not every meal, but generally good, and the Ukrainian workers.It still is the worst ship and the worst cruise I have been on,and without the food and the good staff it would be absolutely awful.

My neighbour's wife has quite a commanding voice,

he may have been a colonel in the army,but she is a sergeant major at home.

There is a Sheila on every ship,

a glass in one hand, always a glass in a hand,staggering about,talking loudly.Columbus is no exception.There are at least four Ozzies on board.I met one of them three or so weeks ago when jogging at 6.30 in the morning, tanned,perfect physique,yellow rabbit like teeth,we exchanged pleasantries.Another was ironing his shirt in the launderette the other day,we chattered about everything and nothing.If the men get drunk,they know how to hold their liquor. It is the Waltzing Matildas,who are the problem.When I got to the top deck this morning at 9.30,she was already sprawled out on a double sofa,shaded from the sun by a canopy, an empty glass on the side table.It was not a pretty sight.Then she started snoring quite loudly,but I had already pulled out a heavy deck-chair,prepared it for lying down and was not going do it again.She had to wake up sooner or later.Three workers came to paint the railings.They are obsessed with the railings on Columbus.If only they paid as much attention to stained arm-chairs in the Palladium theatre or in the self-service restaurant, or to anything else on the ship,God knows,it needs it.The workers were very loud,completely disregarding the presence of the passengers.I caught the eye of the most eloquent one, smiled, pointed to the sleeping beauty,as I felt sorry for her and she seemed familiar, put my finger to my lips and said shhhh. But too late, Sheila was already up,she lifted herself with great difficulty,staggered towards me and said, hey,primadonna,don't shhsh me,if you do not like it here,go somewhere else.I rarely argue and I never argue with a drunk.Hey,I am talking to you,she continued even louder.I did not respond.She was swaying and looking at me.She returned the sofa muttering - stupid cow, you think you are better than me, you fucking English stupid cow.She dropped heavily on the sofa and soon was snoring again.I gathered my belongings and moved as far away as I could.An hour or so later a man joined the sleeping Matilda.It was my jogging companion.Yes, the Ozzies are lovely people when they do not drink.

It was to be the mother of all parties,

saying good-bye to the Caribbean.The plan was to hold it by the pool from 22.15 until midnight,but strong winds and possible rain put paid to that and the do was moved to the Atrium.When I got there just after 9.30,my usual time to leave the dinner table,the music was at full blast,my favourite singer giving it her best,dancers swaying on the the dance floor,among them a very obviously drunk couple, he barely able to stay straight,leaning at her, touching her sexually, quite unpleasant,she laughing like a fool who had just seen a naked bottom,as my mother would say, propping him up.Both young,both large in size.There was the cruise director a couple of feet from them, numerous waiters, officers and other ship's personnel all looking at them, all taking about them all,all laughing at them.But this was not a laughing matter.Many times it looked that they were going to fall down injuring themselves or other passengers.Why were they served drinks when they were so obviously legless? Where was the ship's security who should have politely but firmly removed them from the Atrium and take them to their cabin to sleep it off.Is Cruise and Maritime fit to run a cruise line? Since posting this piece I looked up what there is in the ship's manual about the passengers inappropriate behaviour and getting inebriated. Nothing. Britannia,a P & O vessel, deals with drunks and those, who put the passengers and the ship in danger, mercilessly,and that is the way it should be on every ship. Safety and well-being of passengers must be a priority above all else.

The Aerial Tram Tour on the island of St Lucia was my second choice,

What I wanted was an Adrenaline Zip Line Adventure,but as I was the only one,yes,out of the well over a thousand people on Columbus, there was no-one else wanting to do it,it could not take place and it had to be the Aerial Tram tour for me.Sixteen of us were up for it and a very nice comfortable bus,identical to the one in Costa Rica, came to pick us up.The driver was competent,too,unlike the Tobago nightmare. I was on St Lucia several years ago, cruising on the Queen Elizabeth.I did not take a tour then as heavy rain was forecast,but I went for a very long walk.I liked very much what I saw,the terminal clean with numerous shops and small restaurants.Castries,the capital,has the most enviable position - it is set in a bay,the setting is glorious and that is what I remembered the most,the utterly exquisite picture postcard views of the ships and the whole of the harbour from the other side of the bay. The drive to The Aerial Tram took us in a totally different direction.An effort had been made to keep the sides of the roads shrub and grass free.Posh,large cars stationary outside dirty,crumbling shacks,men washing their pride and joy whilst the courtyards were overflowing with refuse of every kind.Shabby,scruffy deserted settlements.People leave in search of work, of a better life and never come back.No-one to take care of what once was a hearth and a home.Suddenly several colourful buildings,neat,tidy,clothes flowing on a wash line,flowers in the front little garden,just a tiny patch,at the back a forest,spectacular,never ending forest. We pass The Baronneau Police Station and then we stop, the road undriveable,massive holes,we move at a snail's pace.The bus driver shows his mettle.New structures next to fallen down shacks,no effort taken to clear out the remnants of life that once was.Rum,rum,rum sold everywhere,opium of the poor.Men barely on their feet leaning against counters, against walls,sitting on the ground.And more shacks with signs of life,then a beautiful house on stilts.two cars in the forecourt,a small boat.Round the corner a banana plantation with a rich owners's ostentatious house and the poor workers little sheds.More deserted villages.The neglect,the poverty omnipresent.And so much greenery,one large forest.And we have arrived.Calabash.The Sky Rides Base is situated at 2000 ft [609 m] above sea level in the Ecological Park of St Lucia's Forest Reserve.Open air gondolas seat 8 plus a naturalist guide.We see hummingbirds but no bananaquits.We take photos of majestic gommiers,towering chatanniers,the strangler ficus that will soon kill the host tree it is wrapping itself around.There are giant ferns and heliconias,and magnolia trees, centuries old trees.The wonder of it all. I took a photograph of a dragon's blood tree.[ Rodial make cosmetics from the sap of the tree.I must try it when I return home.] The tram ride ends too soon.I leave humbled by the magnificence of nature,The Aerial Tram tour was my second choice,but I am so glad I went.

Today at 7 in the morning we docked in Bridgetown,the capital of Barbados.

Barbados was a British colony until 1966.Walking around Bridgetown,if it was not for the scorching temperatures of 30 plus, you would think you are in a humpty-dumpty of a town in England.I was here four or was it five years ago on the Queen Elizabeth,walked to town from the terminal,came across the most wonderful little shop full of hand painted blouses.I was rather apprehensive then that washing the blouse would be a palava, and even though I liked a few,bought just one.It washed like dream and I knew that when in Barbados again, my first stop would be to this little boutique.Today was the day. The strange thing happened to me as I left the terminal and set out on the mile or so long walk.A taxi driver looked at me and said - you will not be getting a taxi.Puzzled I asked - why do you think so, do I look so poor, that I cannot afford one? No, you look too fit to take a taxi! In no time I found myself at the shop.It was a boutique no more.Empty,door chained, advertised to rent. Not expecting this,I did not check out "hand painted blouses" on the internet,there was nothing else I wanted except retinol face cream,but the pharmacy had it on prescription only,so I bought aloe vera lotion for my sun-burnt shoulders and went in search of a latte.I found one in a department store, I wish I never bothered,it was awful,but the locals were pleasant,friendly,asked questions with interest.And the WC was spotless and free to use.I never object paying, getting water in these countries must be very expensive and operating the sewage system,too.At the terminal they have a Post Office,oh,what a joy.I found the most delightful postcards,2 monkeys in love.The children will love them. There was a small stall with various sweet things,all made on the island.I never buy sweets,but these looked so inviting and ginger toffees in particular.But they cost two Barbadian Dollars and all I had left was one.Do you have something for a dollar,please? That is all I have left.You were looking at the ginger ones. Do you like ginger? Yes, love it. So you can have them for a dollar. How utterly kind.What a wonderful end to a disappointing start of this 1st December 2017.